The end of a decade............

2019 has been a year.......

After writing about my journey in 2018 ​I thought it was important to take some time to think about my journey in 2019.

I find too often that I let my experiences control my life and I forget that I don't have to allow that to happen.  2018 threw me for a big loop and I allowed it to get out of control.  It took a trip to the ER in September for me to push pause, slow down and really take a look at my path and current direction of my choices.

I have always enjoyed journaling and I created a weekly journal that I can use as a form of reflection and personal guidance.  It has been a good exercise for me, I am not always dedicated to it, but every time I find my way back to that journal I am thankful for the time and energy that I choose to give to it.

So what has my 2019 journey taught me?  

I have learned to focus on what is really important to me. 

My family is so important. I didn't quite realize this until I saw the breakdown and struggle of families in our circle of friends.  My job is my job, it doesn't come before time with my family.  I will dedicate to it what I need to in order to fulfill the requirements, but I will not give it more than it needs.  Too often I was answering emails and phone calls at home during my "family time".  I do not need to be a member of several boards and committees.  I took the emails off my phone, I put my phone away when I come home and I choose to be present with my family when I am home.  My daughters are in grades 11 & 12, I don't have a lot of time with them while they are living at home.  A new reality of parenting is right around the corner, I am going to enjoy this time and be the Mom they need right now in this time of their lives.  This is a decision that I will never regret, I believe that by building into this time now will only further our relationship after they go out into the world.

Not only am I building into my daughters but also my husband as well.  How often I see couples struggling after their children have moved out.  Years are spent building into our children, while our marriages have been set to coast and then when the children are gone building their own lives we don't know how to relate to our spouse.  Then we feel like our marriage is breaking down - when in reality it has been breaking down for years because you haven't been building into it.

My family is built on my relationship with my husband.  We choose to be married to each other and build a life together and watch it grow and flourish, then we added our daughters to that relationship so that it can become fuller.  How could I choose to neglect that which my life is built upon?

You know what I discovered?  I like golf.  My husband and I have a lot of hobbies and interests, most of which we don't mutually agree on.  I am not going to be spending hours in the cold on a snowmobile and I can't see Dustin picking up a crochet hook anytime soon.  Friends of ours invited us for a round of golf - Dustin hadn't golfed in years and I had never played a round of golf in my life.  Our friends were so gracious with me, taught me a few things, allowed me to get frustrated and to try again. 

After I survived the first round of golf I didn't see a golf membership in my future.  But then I tried again, and then again.  Dustin found me a set of golf clubs on kijiji and they were perfect!  They belonged to Peg.  After Peg passed away her son was selling a few of her things.  I was lucky enough to become the owner of Peg's golf bag.  I know her name was Peg because she put her name on every golf ball and tee.  The bag is vintage vinyl tapestry, which compliments my grandma chic style.  I so want to crochet granny square golf club covers!

photo from my Instagram stories

I have named my golf set "Peg" and my husband and I have found a great little par 3 course where we can go for a nice walk and hit a few golf balls - hopefully in the direction of the hole 😁 and we have a chance to spend 90 minutes talking and challenging ourselves each game.  I always keep score, not to compete with each other but to see how we are doing from game to game, and I set the rule that we can never score higher than a 6 on a hole, I just give us a 6+. 😉

Priorities are important and we need to make sure that they are what fill up our lives.  So many little things and things that are not necessary can start to invade but we have a choice.  My family is important, they will be the ones that I am thinking about on my death bed.  They are the ones that I think about when I fall asleep at night and when I wake up in the morning.  They are priority.

I also know that to be what I need to be for them, means that I have to make myself a priority as well. I will share more about that in my next post, in this year of journaling ​​I am going to be dealing with a lot of heart healing, purpose searching and goal making. ​ You can find out more about that in my next post.