It's time for a relationship check up...

Relationships.  They affect us all.

Everyday we choose how we interact with those that are closest to us - our spouses, our children, friends, extended family.

This morning I read an article from my Facebook feed about what choices divorced couples would do differently if they were given the chance.  Here are the top responses:

 Some would communicate more, get outside help, or change things about their careers. (link to article)

As I was reading through the list, being the analytical soul that I am - it made me reflect on my own marriage.  These are choices that individuals would choose to do differently to save their families.  How am I doing in theses areas?  A few years ago I taught a marriage seminar, one of the points that stood out to me the most is that in any relationship that is having problems or issues it is never 100% one individuals fault.  A relationship takes more than one person, therefore there is always something that I can do to help or improve the situation, even it if is only 2%.

Communication: this happens on all levels.  My husband and I chat about day to day happenings, we talk about our daughters, we figure out how the bills are going to be paid each month and we drink coffee and debate politics and "modern" Christianity.  But I can't tell you the last time we sat and chatted about us, or that we took the time to slow down and make sure that we are on the same page.  It would make sense to do this now rather than later when there may be an issue.  

Get outside help: to me this does not always imply that you need to see a counselor.  As individuals I believe that we should always be developing and growing our character.  Whether it is reading books, personal coaching, a Bible study group, online network or seeking professional advice we need to be constantly building into ourselves.  Because, in the end it benefits those around us and has a positive affect on all of our relationships.

Career: I have seen many families destroyed from choices made in the name of careers.  I understand that jobs are necessary, we need a warm home and groceries.  I get it.  But our commitment and energy needs to be built into our families not a corporation.  As the saying goes - no one on their death bed ever wished they worked more.