It seems that in December the crazies set in.  I start to feel dizzy with all that is going on in our family.

This December I am trying to be intentional with how I invest my time and energy.  It doesn't always work out the way that I plan.  But I have found so much more enjoyment in this Christmas season than I have in years.

So how I have I chosen to be intentional?

1. It has started in our home.  This needs to be our safe zone.  We have started a few small but meaningful family traditions that we need to stick to.  Years ago we used to custom order our Christmas tree, a really full tall tree - we would get a personal phone call about our tree each year.  The tree company loved us.  One year as finances were tight we realized that this extravagance was not going to happen that year.  So we took our two daughters and our dog and went for a walk in the bush behind our home in search of the perfect Charlie Brown tree.  We usually find an average size one for our living room and then a couple of small ones for additional spots around our home.  With a smaller tree it takes no time to decorate and a less busy feel to it.  This year we were going to do something a little different and drive to the National Park and cut down a tree with their special fuel break program.  We soon came to realize that our family walk to get a tree was a tradition that we couldn't compromise on.  Our 16 year refused to go anywhere else to get a tree, she even told us even though she may seem grumpy when we do it she really enjoys it.  So you may not know that value that small traditions have to our children.
2. Another element that I have found important is lighting.  With the craziness of the season a peaceful environment is important.  I found great deals on lighting this year and I have placed them in various locations around our home and at night the lights dim and a warm glow fills our home.  I know this has made an impact on me and I believe in the environment in our home.  I am now trying to come up with ideas of what I can do to incorporate this into our home year round.
3. Also in creating a peaceful environment I have been staying positive.  For me this can be a struggle.  I have been listening to Christmas songs - mostly the jazzy station for a more soothing sound.  I have made time to sit with my daughters and watch Christmas movies.  I tend to the be the parents that runs around doing "stuff" and pops in every now and then to catch spinets of the movie.  This year I have been making tea and watching a whole movie!  - more memories of what my daughters will remember. 
4. Gift giving has been greatly reduced from presents to experiences.  What gifts are being given are handmade or local items.
5. Being intentional with my time.  I have made lists of different things that I need to accomplish and I have been actively working on them in an organized manner so that it doesn't take me hours away from our home.  This is something that is working so well that I need to continue this in the new year.  Errand lists, meal prep, family schedules - if organized well doesn't need to steal our time.
6. Creating excitement.  Do you remember when Christmas was so exciting as a child?  -  the anticipation and wonder.  Now with two teen daughters Christmas has changed, and that doesn't need to be a negative thing.  It is our new reality and I am choosing to embrace it.  We are driving to visit family this year and it is a really long drive.  One that we are all not looking forward to, but instead of letting those thoughts make it a horrendous experience I have been coming up with ideas for us to enjoy it and look forward to it.  Looking for the positives can only benefit a situation.

These are a few of the changes I am making this year.  So far they are working - this Christmas feels different.  I hope as a family we can agree at the end of the month that this was a December to remember.

I tend to worry more than I should.  It's not a good quality - as in I even lose sleep because I play the worst case scenario repeatedly in my mind.  Control freak (maybe?)  I worry about a variety of things in my life but mostly our daughters.

With each stage of life there are new experiences, trials and changes.  Ah change!!!!!  Change and I are not good friends, we do not get along.  Give me my structure, schedule and lists and it's all good. 

Our family loves after church visiting.  Generally we are one of the last families to leave.  It was like that when my husband was the Youth Pastor and now that he plays on the majority of the music teams we can generally be found at the front of the church cleaning up music equipment and visiting.

One particular Sunday I was visiting with someone and I was sharing about our oldest daughter going to work at camp this summer and that she would be gone for four weeks!  I don't know how I am going to handle it!!!!!  She goes away to a youth retreat weekend, or a sleepover and I miss her terribly and have trouble sleeping.  You know what my friend said to me:

Sometimes you need a friend to give you a kick in the butt.  At first I was like, "Wow, harsh!"  Then I slowly began to realize how true her words are.

​Two weeks later I had an opportunity to exercise this new found wisdom.  Our daughter left for a youth retreat at a Christian College that is a couple of hours away from our home.  I dropped her off at the meeting spot - went back to my vehicle, paused for a moment and prayed for her weekend.

As she came to mind that weekend and worry began to settle in - I would stop and pray.  

And you know what happened?  I found peace and I felt freedom.  It was AWESOME!!!

Whenever I would quiet my heart to pray for her, I would listen to what my heart was telling me to pray for.  So instead of worrying I began praying that she would meet a mentor - someone that would be a positive influence in her life, that would be a good listener for when she needed someone other than her Mom and someone that she could connect with occasionally.  

On Sunday I was excited to pick her up to hear about the weekend.  I got to the church early and wrote in my journal while I was waiting anxiously for her return.  Eventually my very sleep deprived daughter arrived and had enough energy left to share about the weekend.  She had an amazing time - lots of fun activities, found a new love of lattes and she met an amazing girl that is a student at the college and just happens to be dating a guy from our church.

I could feel the smile in my heart, as I was so very thankful for a Father who listens, and cares and protects what we hold so very dear.  This girl, this answer to prayer has attended our church a few times with her boyfriend's family and she always makes time for our daughter and the other teens she connected with that weekend.

There is freedom in giving our cares & worries to the One that holds us in His hand - that knows the number of hairs on our heads.  

The next time worry sets in and steals peace and freedom from you, quiet your heart and place your worries at the foot of the cross.  He's got this.

The relationship between a Mother and daughter is a unique experience.

We have two teen daughters - but honestly I feel like I have had teen daughters for years.  As a Youth Pastor's wife and an educational assistant in a junior high school, I have spent years being surrouned by teenagers.  

When my husband and I served as Youth Pastors in our church, we had many parents coming to us for help and advice.  Which was comical because we weren't even parents ourselves at that time.  I spent a lot of time reading articles and books about parenting teenagers so that we could sound a bit knowledgable.  I look back on that time now that we have teenagers ourselves and I know without a doubt that the success of that youth program had nothing to do with my husband and I.  We relied solely on where God was moving and we followed His lead.

One of the biggest lessons I learned during that time, is that the issues from what looked as a teen problem, was actually a parenting issue.  I am thankful that I had so many parents teaching me indirectly how to parent teenagers.

I am a lifelong learner and I am still reading and learning how to be a better parent and build into our daughters.  They are awesome, they have unique personalities and they encounter the same issues and choices as most teenagers.

In my quest for knowledge I searched for books about the Mother/teen daughter relationship and was stunned with what I found.  I found books about the Father/daughter relationship and tons of books about how to heal from your relationship with your Mother.  As I scrolled through the selection on Amazon my heart sank and my eyes welled with tears.  What message is this sending me, that I am doomed to have a heathy relationship with my daughters?  

Instead of being defeated, it became a challenge.  Why are these my only options?  Instead of searching through Amazon and becoming more depressed - I opened my Bible.  I found such encouragement for my journey in building my relationship with our daughters and who I can be as their Mother.

It wasn't surprising that weeks into this journey of study I received a phone call to speak at a Mother/Daughter retreat.  I love watching God's hand work in and through my life.

My studying is not yet done, I am working on an eBook to give others the option of learning to flourish as a Mother of teen girls, instead of your daughters eventually purchasing a book of how to heal from your relationship!  YIKES!  

So, could I have a few moments of your time to fill out a few anonymous questions?  Just click on the button below and I want to thank you in advance for your help and support and please share this with others so that I can have as much participation as possible.

Have a beautiful day!

Respecting Sabbath is an important part of our faith journey.  I started on this journey not long ago.  You can read my first blog post about Protecting Sabbath.  I am still learning and as a family we are working to figure it out - what we are discovering is that it is a necessity.

The first example we see in Exodus is the gathering of manna, They were to gather twice as much on the 6th day so that the 7th day would be respected as holy Sabbath.  This began the pattern of work, rest and trust.

6 days of work, a day of rest and trusting that the Lord will provide what we need.  Our bodies are designed to work hard, to take time to rest and to trust in the truth of His word.

This is something that we are working to achieve as a family and as it says in Exodus "throughout your generations" which means that we must model this for our children.  

After church one Sunday we all came home to change into our comfy clothes and settle in for the day - but my husband asks us to get in the vehicle because we are going for a drive.  Even though I had a lot on my "to do" list and was ready with about 20 excuses of why I couldn't possibly take the time to go for a drive - I knew I just had to choose to be excited about his idea and get in the vehicle.  Our teen daughters were not so sure but jumped in the back seat and with my camera in hand we started out.

We live in a beautiful Province, Saskatchewan just takes your breath away.  The Prince Albert National Park is only an hour's drive from our home.  I will never forget as we rounded the corner into the main town site - we looked out the window to see a bald eagle flying over the lake right beside us - it was like we were flying with it.  We pulled over and stepped out to look over the cliff to the lake below - the wind whistling through the trees, the waves lapping the shore and the quiet peace brought tears to my eyes.  The "to do" list will always be there, the laundry continues to pile up, there are always meals to prepare, groceries to buy and put away but our daughters are now teenagers.  We only have a few years of this family unit as we know it left to enjoy.  

​We need to model Sabbath rest to our daughters and our souls desperately need it.

This elk that we found at Prince Albert National Park has Sabbath rest figured out.  Sit back and enjoy the sunset - life passes by too quickly.