Last year I found myself scrolling a lot.  I was checking the news all the time, wanting to keep up on the latest COVID reports.  I was trolling through social media to find connections and to constantly check on everything.  Completely wasting a lot of time.

Finally I got to the point where I had to stop watching the daily news reports, I had to stop listening to people who were always speaking from the negative.  

I have always tried to look at situations from the positive.  Focusing on the negative - always seems to bring more negative.

​I had to consciously make a choice as to how I was going to deal with social media and my news consumption. 

Here is a list of steps that I took:

1. I turned off notifications.  The red dot gets me every time.  If I see it, I have to make it disappear.  So I went through my notifications for my social media and turned them all off.  I do not always have to be available to everyone at all times.  Once I got started I went through every app on my phone and set the notifications appropriately for each app.  
2. Unfollow. Then I went through my social media accounts and I unfollowed quite a few people on Facebook and on Instagram and I hid a few peoples stories, I don't need to see them walking around their house everyday telling me their every move.  I unfollowed "influencers", my bank account can only handle so much influence.  😂  If I didn't recognize the account, then I unfollowed.  I even unsubscribed from a bunch of emails that I never read but would show up weekly in my inbox.  It felt like a really good cleanse.
3. Time for change. I went through a change in my business last year and so I decided to go through my Facebook groups and pages that I followed.  Everyone changes over time and there were a lot of things I didn't need to follow or be a part of anymore.  Some groups were not monitored well and I found them quite frustrating, so I left.  I'm sure no one noticed that I was gone, but it felt good to not have to scroll through content that I was no longer interested in. 
4. Limit your time scrolling.  This is a hard one because it becomes a habit, you see your phone just sitting there so you have the urge to pick it up.  Then the next thing you are doing is scrolling through all the apps, and then wondering how the phone ended up in your hand.  A couple of tricks to limiting your time.  Only scroll standing up, you will spend less time scrolling if you are standing and set a timer.  Some apps have timers of how long you spend on it in a day or use the timer on your phone.  It is amazing how quick you can loose 30 minutes.  I was speaking with someone on the weekend and they do not go on any social media on Sundays.  I think that is a good habit that I would like to start.
5. Break the habit.  In order to break the habit I had to replace the desire to pick up my phone with something that I wanted to do more or something that I should be doing instead.  First thing in the morning I would sit with my coffee and scroll, now my mornings are filled with my current Bible Study or 30 minutes of yoga and I have my coffee when I sit down to work.  One of my goals of 2021 is to spend more time reading, so at night when I have to urge to sit and scroll, I pick up a book instead.  Once I start reading I usually don't want to quit.  So now I am spending more time doing things that are good for my mental wellness and you know what?  I am not missing out on anything that is happening on social media.

Social media has it's benefits and it can be good, but when it gets in between you and the one life that you have to live, then there is a problem.  I think most of us have a problem finding that balance.  

This week I am asking you to take a little self check and see how you are doing.  Click below for a checklist that I created.

It's okay to pause and rest.

In fact - it is necessary.

​Over the past few weeks I have seen people on social media trying to be all the things to everyone.  It's not necessary and you are only setting yourself up for burn out and you are teaching your family to have huge expectations for you.  

Use this time to slow down and teach what a balanced life can look like.  Build into your family with your time and attention - not continuous activities.  Allow them time and space to use their imagination.  It's how they discover their gifts, what they like to do - it provides them a safe space to learn who they are and at any age it helps them move toward what they will eventually study in school and choose as a career.  Don't get in their way.

Not only do our children need the time and space - but so do we.  I have been making more time to write in my journal, to sit and read a magazine (I don't know when the last time was that I actually bought a magazine or looked at one) and to deep clean a few neglected areas of my home.  I have made getting exercise and drinking more water a regular part of my day.  I have been figuring out how to use my Fitbit  to help with my daily choices.

Since my car accident I have had a difficult time trying to find ways to be active that didn't hurt or cause me to be dizzy.

About a month ago I started doing this video, it was such a great way to get me moving again and it is designed for all levels.  You can even sit in a chair to do it if you need to.  I have now been able to move onto other videos on this YouTube channel.  I would encourage you to check it out.  In just a few weeks I feel noticeably different.

There are so many good reasons to choose to push that pause button and enjoy each moment and find gratitude in this time. 

Tonight around the supper table ask your family what their favourite moment was from the last few weeks.  

It is a good way to keep the focus on the positive and also a great way to find out more about your family.  If you would like to share their answers in the comments I would love to hear them.  🙂

When you feel like your life is controlling you - then you know that things must change.  

Firstly, I am tired of being connected all the time.  Cell phones have made life easier in some aspects but far too difficult in others.

By being at your cell phones beckon call you are separating yourself from those around you.  The picture above is a clear explanation of that.  I would never want my family members to feel that way, but I know at times they do.  It is time to make change - here is what I have done to start making changes:

1. turn off notifications- get rid of the little red dot that is telling you that you need to check your phone right now.  Everything can be changed and modified in your settings, make time to implement these changes - you will be thankful.
2. put the phone down - when you get home from work have a place for your phone and leave it there.  This is your time to spend with your family - you do not work 24 hours a day - whatever it is, it can wait until morning.  Let your friends and family know that you are not checking your phone 24 hours a day, just because you receive a text message does not mean that you have to reply immediately.  
3. At night do not place your phone on your night stand.  Keep the temptation away.  Sleep is for rejuvenation and relaxation - that is not provided by your phone or any app.  Our family placed a table in the hallway which is our charging station, all our "stuff" is left there for the night.  It sets a good example when your devices are located on the table with the whole family.
4. When going out with friends leave your phone in your car or your purse.  Keep your focus on those that you are spending your time with, not the random people on Facebook.  Even if your phone is face down on the table, it is a distraction.  Put the darn thing away!
5. Speaking of Facebook- take a few minutes to go through your "friends" list and start deleting.  I took a look at my list and I started to be selective.  I found a portion of my "friends" never talked to me in real life when I saw them so I wasn't sure what relationship I was having with them so I had to delete.  I had a few "friends" that spent most of their time complaining,  why would I want it in my feed?  Which led me to ask, "What do I want to see in my feed?"  That led to going through groups and pages that I liked and I cleaned house on my Facebook page.  I only want to see things that are going to encourage and inspire me.  I refuse to invest any of the precious time I have on this earth filling myself with negativity.
6. Just because your phone rings does not mean that you have to answer.  A pet peeve of mine is people who chat on their phone while they are checking out at the grocery store.  I am really not interested in hearing your conversation and honestly - it is really rude.  

Not only are we making changes with how we interact with our phones but also that black rectangle in our living room.

A couple of years ago we built a house, it's not finished yet.  I am married to a contractor, it probably won't be finished when we celebrate our 50th anniversary.  😁  But that's okay because it is about the family that lives in it, not it's finishes.  When we were working with the engineers we designed a room around our TV.  We dedicated a room so that our family can sit around and be entertained by box on the wall.  Why did we choose to do this? 

Now we are seeing the err in our ways and we are making changes.  I have disconnect our cable, and honestly we do not miss it.  There are a couple of shows that we like to watch and we can catch them online and we have Netflix.  It is amazing to see how many other things that we can find to do now that we are not focused on that box on the wall and we are saving $100 a month!  Score!

Take time to figure out what this looks like in your life.  Where are you investing your time?

I have to admit that I come across as a confident person, but really I am a chicken!

Far too often I give up too easily, I start off strong but then I get in my own way.  This is something that I will never have to stop working on.

I know deep down in my gut things that I need to do and yet I still hold back.  Why oh why do I continually do that!  Am I the only one that does this?

I am making a list of what I know I need to do and I am going to put my view of myself and my abilities to the side and I am going to Be Bravely ME! 

Because others may be missing out on something that I can share with, a way that I can encourage them, a life lesson that they can relate to.
​
So here I am making a public proclamation that I will actively choose to begin working on what the still small voice has laid heavy on my heart.  Ready, set, here I go!!!!!!!

Life sometimes just feels so full. Sometimes too full. I am wondering how it got that way.

Since having health problems for over a year now, I have tried to slow down and yet I still feel like I am running around like a crazy person.  At the end of the day I continue to ask myself, "What did I accomplish today?" And sometimes I can't think of anything but yet my day felt so full.

Why do I choose to do this to myself each day? I know I need to slow down. I had physio today and yikes am I sore right now. I felt really good when I came home but right now I feel really tight and sore, and well, like a truck hit me. Physiotherapists really know how to hurt a person. :)  But I know that I will continue to get better from this. That all of this pain will help me in the long run.

Kinda sounds like life lessons.  Well, it is how it works for me most of the time. You know the character building exercises that we go through in our lives? It really sucks when you are in those places in your life, but then in the end when you can see what you were learning and how it helped you. In a weird and yet wonderful way it all seems worth it in the end.

I guess that is what physio is going to do for me. I am not going to feel like a 90 year old woman anymore. I will be able to run and play with our daughters again. I wish I wasn't in this place right now but I know that I am taking the right steps, on the right path to get to where I need to be. I just have to figure out how to slow down this ride of life that seems like it is spinning out of control. I know I need to cut somethings out of my life, but where do you start cutting? Who do you cut?

I was talking to my husband about having to cut some things and he asks me, that if I decided to leave something, "Who is going to lose out from having me involved?"

It is interesting to look at things from the larger perspective - I start cutting things that I wouldn't mind losing, but what effect is that going to have on other people? There is more to life than ourselves.  Even though that is what the media likes to teach us - 'Life is all about me!"  Someone else is always going to be affected by every decision that we make.  Man! I thought I had difficult decisions to make before, but now it got even worse!

So now my brain hurts along with my back. So I am going to bed, and hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I will try to take my day bit by bit and enjoy the day with my husband and our daughters and not worry about the next thing on my to-do list that I feel I need to cross off.  Hey, I bought a new purse today!  Life is good! ​

It seems that in December the crazies set in.  I start to feel dizzy with all that is going on in our family.

This December I am trying to be intentional with how I invest my time and energy.  It doesn't always work out the way that I plan.  But I have found so much more enjoyment in this Christmas season than I have in years.

So how I have I chosen to be intentional?

1. It has started in our home.  This needs to be our safe zone.  We have started a few small but meaningful family traditions that we need to stick to.  Years ago we used to custom order our Christmas tree, a really full tall tree - we would get a personal phone call about our tree each year.  The tree company loved us.  One year as finances were tight we realized that this extravagance was not going to happen that year.  So we took our two daughters and our dog and went for a walk in the bush behind our home in search of the perfect Charlie Brown tree.  We usually find an average size one for our living room and then a couple of small ones for additional spots around our home.  With a smaller tree it takes no time to decorate and a less busy feel to it.  This year we were going to do something a little different and drive to the National Park and cut down a tree with their special fuel break program.  We soon came to realize that our family walk to get a tree was a tradition that we couldn't compromise on.  Our 16 year refused to go anywhere else to get a tree, she even told us even though she may seem grumpy when we do it she really enjoys it.  So you may not know that value that small traditions have to our children.
2. Another element that I have found important is lighting.  With the craziness of the season a peaceful environment is important.  I found great deals on lighting this year and I have placed them in various locations around our home and at night the lights dim and a warm glow fills our home.  I know this has made an impact on me and I believe in the environment in our home.  I am now trying to come up with ideas of what I can do to incorporate this into our home year round.
3. Also in creating a peaceful environment I have been staying positive.  For me this can be a struggle.  I have been listening to Christmas songs - mostly the jazzy station for a more soothing sound.  I have made time to sit with my daughters and watch Christmas movies.  I tend to the be the parents that runs around doing "stuff" and pops in every now and then to catch spinets of the movie.  This year I have been making tea and watching a whole movie!  - more memories of what my daughters will remember. 
4. Gift giving has been greatly reduced from presents to experiences.  What gifts are being given are handmade or local items.
5. Being intentional with my time.  I have made lists of different things that I need to accomplish and I have been actively working on them in an organized manner so that it doesn't take me hours away from our home.  This is something that is working so well that I need to continue this in the new year.  Errand lists, meal prep, family schedules - if organized well doesn't need to steal our time.
6. Creating excitement.  Do you remember when Christmas was so exciting as a child?  -  the anticipation and wonder.  Now with two teen daughters Christmas has changed, and that doesn't need to be a negative thing.  It is our new reality and I am choosing to embrace it.  We are driving to visit family this year and it is a really long drive.  One that we are all not looking forward to, but instead of letting those thoughts make it a horrendous experience I have been coming up with ideas for us to enjoy it and look forward to it.  Looking for the positives can only benefit a situation.

These are a few of the changes I am making this year.  So far they are working - this Christmas feels different.  I hope as a family we can agree at the end of the month that this was a December to remember.