Carolyn Carleton
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Finding Quiet

9/8/2021

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​Life is full of chaos and noise. It has gotten to the point where we are afraid of quiet.

Whenever there is quiet our thoughts take over and those thoughts can scare us sometimes.  So we choose to keep adding to our lives. 

Tonight our daughter was working on homework assignment, my husband was at band practice so I finished up the dishes and thought I would go and sit down and rest for a few minutes. While I was sitting down to relax I turned on the TV to watch the news, then I thought that I hadn't read the paper today. When I finished the paper I picked up my phone and started to play a game on it.  All of a sudden I realized what I was doing.  I had planned to sit down and relax for a few minutes and now I was bombarding my brain into overload.

Why do we willingly do this to ourselves?

It is time my friends - to embrace quietness and stillness and learn to just 'Be'.

It takes time and practice, it will not be easy for me - I can tell you that!  But it is something that I know I need to do.  The first step I believe is to find a place where you can find quiet.  Also, if you have children that would include a time as well. 

I have friends that will get up at obscene hours in the morning just to guarantee their quiet time.  I am not a morning person.  I get up because of necessity to take care of my family and get ready for work.  I like dusk, my family has quieted down for the night and I have time to think about my activities of the day - the conversations that took place - and what did I learn today?  I want to start working through my 2021 Reading List and drink more tea.

Use those precious moments during your day to pause and "Be".  I am told that your quality of life will increase dramatically. Life throws so much at you each day - I want to be able to treasure those moments of silence and solitude, and use them to become a better wife, mother and friend and to truly Enjoy the Everyday!

Anyone want to join me on this journey? I am going to need all the encouragement I can get! 

Leave a comment below with your favourite time of the day to find quiet, and what that looks like for you.
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Writing is therapy....

6/10/2021

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It has been a long time since I have made time to write.  I have been walking quite the journey over the past two years and I haven't taken the time to process it all. 

So, last night I made myself a cup of tea and sat with my journal - it has been a long time.  I turned to a blank page and it just sometimes that blank page just stares back at you - you have so much to write but you don't know where to begin or how to start. 

When I teach my journaling workshops I always ask the group to start with the date.  It is always a good place to start.

​So with the date in the top right corner, the words began to flow. 

​Finally after four pages I felt like I had made a good start.  There has been a lot going on and my heart needs a lot of healing.  I have always found writing to be a form of healing for me.  When I wrote my book it caused me to deal with a lot of issues from my past so that I was free to move forward in my life.  

With all that is going on with the COVID-19 I have been found myself coaching people again.  One of the main things that I tell people is that they need to start writing about this experience.  As we write it is incredible to see the awakenings and healing that can emerge.

I have always felt that my life experiences and character building exercises are for me to share.  As with my book and my journey over the past two years, I heal by writing and sharing.  And hopefully through my sharing I can help others on their journeys.
 Do you know that in individuals who have experienced a traumatic or extremely stressful event, expressive writing can have a significant healing effect. In fact, participants in a study who wrote about their most traumatic experiences for 15 minutes, four days in a row, experienced better health outcomes up to four months later 
Overall, writing as therapy has proven effective for many different conditions or mental illnesses, including:
  • Post-traumatic stress
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Grief and loss
  • Chronic illness issues
  • Substance abuse
  • Eating disorders
  • Interpersonal relationship issues
  • Communication skill issues
  • Low self-esteem

Don't know how to start?  Write the date and see where you go from there.

Follow the five steps to WRITE:
​W – What do you want to write about? Name it.
R – Review or reflect on it – close your eyes, take deep breaths, and focus.
I – Investigate your thoughts and feelings. Just start writing and keep writing.
T – Time yourself – write for 5 to 15 minutes straight.
E – Exit “smart” by re-reading what you’ve written and reflecting on it with one or two sentences
​Finally, keep the following in mind while you are journaling:
  • It’s okay to write only a few words, and it’s okay to write several pages – just write at your own pace.
  • Don’t worry so much about what to write about, just focus on taking the time to write and giving it your full attention.
  • Don’t worry about how well you write – the important thing is to write down what makes sense to you and what comes naturally to you.
  • Write as if no one else will read it – this will help you avoid “putting on a show” rather than writing authentically

Find a notebook and just start writing.  It's where you will find me - and I will be blogging more over the coming weeks as well.  I have a lot to work through - it's time to start the healing.
click here to get your free Journaling for Mental Wellness eBook!
Carolyn
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Taking a pause

3/4/2021

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Hello friends - how are you doing?

Honestly, I want to know how you are.  Are you taking time to pause in your day, a chance to gather your focus?  Are you allowing the rush of life to set in again?  Are you setting time aside each week to write in your journal?  Send me an email and give me an update.

I want to share with you my new favourite app: - the
 OAK meditation app. 

The breathing exercises are a great way to start your day and I fall asleep to the relaxing sounds every night.  When I sit down to journal I use the unguided meditation and I set it for 30-45 minutes depending on how much time I have, I add my favourite background sound and I set the chimes.  I have an interval bell go every 5 minutes because my mind tends to wonder when I am writing in my journal, the chime brings me back to focus on my journal time.


There are so many times when our focus wonders and we loose track of what we are trying to accomplish.

We are each on a journey, we need to choose to enjoy each step, live with intention and make it beautiful.

Each day is a new day, with new opportunities to grow.  Have an amazing day!
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Feeling full....

2/21/2019

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Sunrise hoar frost, Saskatchewan
Life sometimes just feels so full. Sometimes too full. I am wondering how it got that way.

Since having health problems for over a year now, I have tried to slow down and yet I still feel like I am running around like a crazy person.  At the end of the day I continue to ask myself, "What did I accomplish today?" And sometimes I can't think of anything but yet my day felt so full.

Why do I choose to do this to myself each day? I know I need to slow down. I had physio today and yikes am I sore right now. I felt really good when I came home but right now I feel really tight and sore, and well, like a truck hit me. Physiotherapists really know how to hurt a person. :)  But I know that I will continue to get better from this. That all of this pain will help me in the long run.

Kinda sounds like life lessons.  Well, it is how it works for me most of the time. You know the character building exercises that we go through in our lives? It really sucks when you are in those places in your life, but then in the end when you can see what you were learning and how it helped you. In a weird and yet wonderful way it all seems worth it in the end.

I guess that is what physio is going to do for me. I am not going to feel like a 90 year old woman anymore. I will be able to run and play with our daughters again. I wish I wasn't in this place right now but I know that I am taking the right steps, on the right path to get to where I need to be. I just have to figure out how to slow down this ride of life that seems like it is spinning out of control. I know I need to cut somethings out of my life, but where do you start cutting? Who do you cut?

I was talking to my husband about having to cut some things and he asks me, that if I decided to leave something, "Who is going to lose out from having me involved?"

It is interesting to look at things from the larger perspective - I start cutting things that I wouldn't mind losing, but what effect is that going to have on other people? There is more to life than ourselves.  Even though that is what the media likes to teach us - 'Life is all about me!"  Someone else is always going to be affected by every decision that we make.  Man! I thought I had difficult decisions to make before, but now it got even worse!

So now my brain hurts along with my back. So I am going to bed, and hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I will try to take my day bit by bit and enjoy the day with my husband and our daughters and not worry about the next thing on my to-do list that I feel I need to cross off.  Hey, I bought a new purse today!  Life is good! ​
Carolyn Carleton
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Broken.....

12/15/2018

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Depending by which standards you measure life from - I could say that 2018 was a horrible year.

I had people come into my life that caused me such deep pain that I am still learning how to cope and move forward.

I had situations that stretched me further than I ever thought possible.

I saw things in people that I wish I could unsee.

2018 had so many plots twists the best fiction writer couldn't have wound this plot together.

As 2018 is coming to an end I find that I have two choices.  I can drag this "horrible year" into 2019 or I can change my perspective.

I do not look at 2018 as a horrible year.  I have learned so much about myself and where my place is in this world.  I would have chosen to learn the lessons another way, but unfortunately the easy way is usually not the best way.  

I had a situation in 2018 that changed me - it through me for a loop that I wasn't expecting and was not prepared for.  I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know how to cope or move forward.  It broke me and shook who I thought I was to my core.

So how do I move forward for 2019?

Easy!  No actually it's not easy, there are not a magical amount of steps that will make it all shiny and new.

As with anything that has the greatest rewards is the amount of effort you put in to make it a success.

I am choosing that my 2019 will be a success story to the lessons I have learned in 2018.  (I am sure that 2019 will have new lessons for me to learn😊 )

I have a saying for my experiences in 2018.  Years ago I made the choice to stop looking at situation based on a good or bad scale.  Everything is a "character building exercise".  Each day there is something to be learned - to be gained.  Once you change your perspective, then your life situations start to look differently. 

Once the situations start to look different then you start to change your reactions and how you feel about life and your place in it starts to become clearer.​  And thankfulness and gratitude become a part of these experiences.
A few questions I ask myself on this last day of 2018:
  1. What are the biggest lessons I learned about myself this year?
  2. What brought me the most joy in 2018?
  3. What steps can I make to move forward in 2019?

​I am looking forward to journeying with you in 2019!
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In 2017 - I get to.....

1/25/2017

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Turing my have to into get to - burdens to blessings
So, how is 2017 going?

I have felt so much stretching and growth in just the first 25 days!  It is such a powerful and beautiful thing.  Oh that my heart will remain open to what I need to learn.

As I have spent time in study and prayer I have noticed my perceptions changing.  In my journal I wrote about how I need to change my attitude toward certain things in my life because honestly I have been crabby.  

My life has felt like it is full of all these "have to's" - I have to make supper, I have to go to work each morning, I have to do laundry - you see where I am going with this?  To make me feel worse about myself I see all these shiny happy people on my social media feeds that seem like they are fully enjoying life.  Oh how I long for that feeling.  

As I sat with my journal I prayed for a changed heart and a new attitude toward my "have to's".  What if I changed my "have to" to a "get to"?  I get to make my family healthy suppers, I get to provide for my family by going to work each morning, I get to do laundry to take care of my family.

By looking at my life as a "get to" it has changed my perspective dramatically.  This is my time, this is my place, this is what I was created for.  Why would I question it?  Why would I look down on it?

Daily I began changing my "have to's" into "get to's".  Once I became aware it was incredible how many times a day I had to consciously correct my negative attitude.  

That Sunday in church in our pastor's sermon he talked about changing our burdens to blessings!  That was the lesson I had been learning all week - everything that I saw or interrupted as a burden in my life is a blessing.  A beautiful blessing that my Father has given to me, not anyone else - He chose me to wash my husband gross work clothes because he works so hard to provide for our family, I get to wash the uniforms from the school that our daughters attend that have built into them and encouraged them.  My family is a blessing.

I am learning to do this joyfully, I am learning to see the many blessings in my everyday.  

I love the story of Esther.  Her wise cousin Mordecai says such powerful words, at a time when so much was at stake.  There was no opportunity to be gentle with the words that Esther needed to hear. 
Don't think for a moment that because you are in the palace you will escape when all the other Jews are killed.  If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die.  Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this.  Esther 4:13 & 14
Oh dear friends, so often we hear the last part of this passage.  But please hear the cry of Mordecai - you are not safe just because of your position.  If you chose to be quiet you will die and someone else will rise to do what you chose not to do.

Seriously, does that not knock you to your knees.  I have been created for such a time as this, to serve my family, to serve my community, to serve my church family.  It is a choice that I make daily. whether it be a large or small tasks that I have been called to - I need to rise to that place and not remain quiet.  

Oh Father, may I be obedient to your call on my life.
Changing my burdens to blessings,
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