Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed, and rearranged to relocate us to the place we are meant to be.
We are facing a new reality on so many levels.
My husband and I have joked so many times that we wish the world would stop so that everything would slow down. I would have never imagined that a pandemic that may essentially kill thousands of people would cause this to happen.
I have been in a bit of shock trying to wrap my brain around everything that is happening.
Do you know that the bestselling books on amazon right now are homeschooling books? That is exciting for me, it shows what people are putting as priorities. I have been so disappointed with the "self-help" books that have been on the bestsellers list - complete drivel. Let's get our minds growing 🌱
A few takeaways:
What are your takeaways? How can you make the most of this time?
Life sometimes just feels so full. Sometimes too full. I am wondering how it got that way.
Since having health problems for over a year now, I have tried to slow down and yet I still feel like I am running around like a crazy person. At the end of the day I continue to ask myself, "What did I accomplish today?" And sometimes I can't think of anything but yet my day felt so full.
Why do I choose to do this to myself each day? I know I need to slow down. I had physio today and yikes am I sore right now. I felt really good when I came home but right now I feel really tight and sore, and well, like a truck hit me. Physiotherapists really know how to hurt a person. :) But I know that I will continue to get better from this. That all of this pain will help me in the long run.
Kinda sounds like life lessons. Well, it is how it works for me most of the time. You know the character building exercises that we go through in our lives? It really sucks when you are in those places in your life, but then in the end when you can see what you were learning and how it helped you. In a weird and yet wonderful way it all seems worth it in the end.
I guess that is what physio is going to do for me. I am not going to feel like a 90 year old woman anymore. I will be able to run and play with our daughters again. I wish I wasn't in this place right now but I know that I am taking the right steps, on the right path to get to where I need to be. I just have to figure out how to slow down this ride of life that seems like it is spinning out of control. I know I need to cut somethings out of my life, but where do you start cutting? Who do you cut?
I was talking to my husband about having to cut some things and he asks me, that if I decided to leave something, "Who is going to lose out from having me involved?"
It is interesting to look at things from the larger perspective - I start cutting things that I wouldn't mind losing, but what effect is that going to have on other people? There is more to life than ourselves. Even though that is what the media likes to teach us - 'Life is all about me!" Someone else is always going to be affected by every decision that we make. Man! I thought I had difficult decisions to make before, but now it got even worse!
So now my brain hurts along with my back. So I am going to bed, and hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I will try to take my day bit by bit and enjoy the day with my husband and our daughters and not worry about the next thing on my to-do list that I feel I need to cross off. Hey, I bought a new purse today! Life is good!
It seems that in December the crazies set in. I start to feel dizzy with all that is going on in our family.
This December I am trying to be intentional with how I invest my time and energy. It doesn't always work out the way that I plan. But I have found so much more enjoyment in this Christmas season than I have in years.
So how I have I chosen to be intentional?
I did not realize how much I needed rest. I did not understand that the life I was living was not any kind of life at all.
I was so caught up in the mindset of busyness. Our daughters were involved in several activities, I was always running - involved in a dozen different activities, my husband was out most nights either working or at a music practice. While I was living in it, it seemed normal - natural. It's just the way life is. Right?
Then my accident happened - that was a wake up call to my mindset. I do not think that the drunk driver will ever fully understand the impact that he had on our family. I filled in my Victim Impact Statement and handed it in to the police. That was an interesting time of reflection - after months of physio and Doctor's appointments, it is incredible how much this accident continues to affect my everyday life. It is strange to be called a victim, and essentially I am - but it is up to me whether I allow this experience to make me a victim of my situation.
The drivers choice to drive drunk that Friday afternoon last fall was a choice that he made. Now I have to choose how I am going to allow it to affect me. The Victim Impact Statement breaks down the impact into sections: emotionally, physically and financially. I have been affected in all these areas, and with lasting impact in all.
This is my new reality. Each day that passes I get a little bit better. the important part is that I continue to move forward. Some days that choice is harder than others but it is a path that I have been placed on and I am going to choose to walk it with integrity.
The greatest lesson that I have learned on this new journey is that rest is important. We were not created for a life of busyness. Due to my injuries I was unable to do most things. It meant stepping away from boards and committees, closing my handmade online business, working less, my daughters had to say no to activities, my family had to step up to help around the home more and I had to slow down. I had to learn how to rest. I didn't know how to sit and just "be".
I didn't realize that busyness is a sin. As I have been learning to find rest in my life Hebrews 12 continues to come to mind.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin."
Previous to this chapter we find the examples of the Hall of Fame of Faith - it is interesting to study their lives which leads us to the verses entitled God's Discipline proves His Love. Hebrews 12 is so full of goodness.
We are to set aside and strip off the weight of sin that weighs us down, and run the race before us. I ran a 5K race once. It was hard. I could barely finish it. I could not imagine what it would have felt like if I was told that I had to run it with a 20lb weight laying on my shoulders. How can we run the race of life without the weight of sin? Keep our eyes on Jesus. Easier said than done - even Peter had difficulty with this one. We can't give up, this race is too important.
"And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,
Many skip over these verses because let's face it - they talk about discipline and discipline is not a happy, feel-good topic. It is time to get over the thoughts that choosing to follow Christ is a joy-filled walk in the park. Yes you may experience days like that, but if I use my life as an example of this - those days a few and far between. Most days I experience pain, not always necessarily in my life but I see it in the eyes of so many around me.
The Greek work for discipline in this chapter refers to child-rearing through instruction, training and correction. As we travel through the painful discipline or lessons to be learned in our lives we do not always understand why. But that is not where our focus should be. The reason may not be a blinking sign in front of us, but in time we will have greater understanding. My husband and I went through a difficult time early in our marriage, I remember as he held me as I was uncontrollably sobbing - I said, "I can't wait for 10 years from now when I can look back and say what a great learning experience this was for us."
Our response during this time needs to come from a place of respect and submission. "Submission" another word that is just as popular as "discipline". But do you see what the rewards are? A peaceful harvest of right living - doesn't that sound wonderful! Then comes the encouragement - that where you are weak you will be strengthened. My body has been left weak from my accident, but I will be strengthened in more ways than I can fully know now.
I see things differently now, I recognize thankfulness in a new light, I am not the same person I was a year ago. I have found a place of rest that my soul was craving more than I recognized. I will not be weary, I will not give up, I am all-in for this race that is set before me. May I run with integrity, respect and submission.
More than 10 years have passed since that time my husband held me as I wept and I can look on that situation and see the healing, the lessons learned and how we have grown. It is experiences like that, that help me to not lose my focus and to endure.
Life is made up with a variety of seasons. Each season offers character building exercises, stretches you and hopefully guides you along the path to becoming all that we have been created to be.
Check out this video by Joanna Gaines from Fixer Upper
I watched this video a year ago, and it's message of trust has never left me.
What I have been learning is that even though something is good, it may mean that you have to let it go.
For the past few years I have had a small, fun business called Living Skies Crochet. I took my passion of creating with yarn and turned it into a business. I started selling crochet items at markets but found I couldn't keep up to the demand, so I decided to sell the patterns so that anyone that could read a pattern and crochet could make my original designs. Financially this wasn't a business that I could retire on, but it provided money for groceries and my yarn stash. :)
This past year has been hard on a lot of families in Western Canada due to the low price of oil and our Canadian economy. My husband is self-employed and some months were harder than others. Last fall I was in a vehicle accident where I was hit by a drunk driver and my vehicle was totaled. Sometimes life presents situations where we have to learn to live a new reality.
I have been really working on listening, rather than asking. When life seems difficult I tend to become rather needy and full of prayers of petition. But what I have found, is that there is peace and answers if I just remain silent, listen and be still.
So here I am, closing Living Skies Crochet. This source of income will be gone at the end of March, and I have such peace about it.
When we get out of our comfort zone and trust God's hand to work in our lives, it creates such a beautiful picture.
I am excited to see the picture evolve in my own life, I know that He is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.. (Eph. 3:20)
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