Bridal Shower Devotional

Today I am sharing a devotional I wrote for a Bridal Shower. I have changed the names to Brad and Jessica to protect the people that I wrote it for. I hope you enjoy! 

My husband and I have been married almost 10 years. My how time flies!  Sometimes it is hard to remember my life without him in it - what an exciting journey you are about to begin. 

I am honoured to share a few thoughts with everyone today. I am happy to be your bridesmaid and to be a part of your wedding day. I take my responsibility as a Bridesmaid very seriously. In weddings that my husband and I have participated in the past as well as a recent wedding that our girls were invited to participate in. We have told the Bride and Grooms that we are honoured to be invited as a part of their new family and that we are there for them to keep them accountable, to be a shoulder if they need it, and to help them navigate the bumps. So, Jessica please know that this includes you and Brad as well. 

I have two words of advice that I received early in our marriage that I want to share with you. The first was shared at our wedding reception. I really didn’t understand what he meant at the time but it has come in handy throughout my marriage. He said, “You may not always like your spouse but you will always love them.” 

I would like to take it a step further. And that is “You may not always like your spouse but you will always have to choose to love them.” Love is not something that you fall in and out of; it is a choice and a lot of work and dedication.

You have chosen to marry Brad and spend the rest of your life with him. There will be days that you may wish you made a different choice. To be honest, I’ve had a few of those with my husband. But I am determined and I refuse to go against the vows that I promised to my husband the day of our wedding.

I hung a picture from our wedding with our vows written underneath on the wall outside of our bedroom as a reminder for both of us - of what we promised to each other. We wrote these vows together and we are people of character and integrity; we will always honour what we promised to each other on our wedding day before God, our friends and family. That is an active choice. 

The other word of advice can be hard to follow through, but it is essential.

Right after our marriage my husband and I joined a Bible Study that was on marriage. It was interesting because we were newlyweds and the group varied in length of marriage; I think the longest may have been 10 years. The one thing that stood out to everyone throughout the video series was, “Never make fun of or put your spouse down, especially in a public setting.”  Maybe you can add that to your wedding vows, and promise yourself to stand firm in it. You need to use words of encouragement and support - not just in public, but in your everyday language.

I asked my friends on my Facebook what advice they would give to someone getting married and this is what I received and I have added my thoughts as well: 

• Don’t try to replace God with your husband. Your husband is not there to fulfill all your needs. Ephesians 3:16-20
• Choose your battles wisely - especially the first year. There is a lot of growing and development in that period.
• Pray together. “A couple that prays together, stays together.”
• Prioritize and stand firm: God - Husband - your children - extended family. I find this hard with my family in Ontario. Sometimes I regret choosing to move so far away and sometimes I am thankful that I moved so far away 😊.  I do feel bad that I deny my parents their grandchildren, but I chose my husband and I have to chose for our family. It’s hard to disagree with my Mom and listen to her cry, but it’s what I chose.
• Even if you believe that 90% of the problems in your marriage are Brad’s fault, that leaves 10% that is yours to deal with, so make sure that you are working on you as well.  No one is perfect.
• Communication- Talk lots, not about fluffy stuff, continue to get to know each other, it will only help your marriage grow more and more each year. Turn off the TV or whatever is your distraction (scrapbooking) and dedicate time to spend together. 6 nights a week scrapbooking, one night for Brad. That sounds fair. :)
• Don’t be selfish! The first year of marriage presents a lot of bumps as you are learning how 2 become 1. I believe that selfishness is the biggest reason that marriages fail. When people talk to you and say “you” they will soon mean Jessica and Brad, not just Jessica.
• Last and definitely not least if there are things to you need to deal with from your past, deal with them now.  DO NOT bring them into your marriage.  If you need help, get help – your marriage depends on it.

I found a quote that I really like.:
“Marriage is a journey toward an unknown destination – the discovery that people must share not only what they don’t know about each other, but what they don’t know about themselves.”  Michael Ventura  ~ I am still learning things about myself.

“You” meaning Brad AND Jessica are about to embark on an exciting journey -- a new life together. I strongly believe in what the Word tells us in Titus. That the older women need to come along side of the younger women and teach them. I’m not that much older :)  but I want you to know that I am here for you. If you don’t want my advice than I have a ton of books you could borrow and there are many godly women in our church who would be glad to come alongside you. You are not alone and whatever you may face on your journey please know that you are not the first and you are not alone. But we also want to rejoice with you and celebrate with you, with all the great joys and special moments that you and Brad will share.

I feel like all I have been telling you about is all the trials and hard things of marriage. Honestly, marriage is work, kind of like a job, but a job that you are excited about. That when you wake up in the morning you are excited to see Brad beside you and after a day at work that you will be excited to go home and spend time with Brad. Your marriage is the most enjoyable and rewarding job you will ever have.

What a wonderful time in your life that you are about to begin! Have fun, this is the time in your life that little girls dream of. I know my girls are already planning their weddings and who they are going to marry which is a little scary.

Remember your wedding is only one day, and your marriage is forever. Enjoy every moment!

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