"Be still and know that I am God."
Has that verse ever lain heavily on your heart? For me it is like that verse has crazy glue on it and it is stuck to my forehead and it is never coming off. At first I tried to peel it off, but that was too painful, then I tried nail polish remover and that made my eyes water. Then I just hoped that if I ignored it, it would eventually wear off. Nothing worked, it is still there in bold letters across my forehead staring at me every time I look in the mirror.
One day I paused and stared at my image in the mirror. I had been so used to seeing these words on my forehead that I forgot what they said. "Be still", that was a hard one for me. I have so much on the go, so much I want to do for God. Stillness equals laziness and no one is going to accuse me of that. I have my family and house to take care of, a ministry, my husband's business, I teach Sunday School, volunteer at my daughters school, oh my, the list could go on and on. Why am I doing all of this? Be still. Be still. Well, no time to think about that.
"Know that I am God". Of course I know God, I accepted Him in my heart, got baptized, I even have a few T-shirts that will tell you about it. I remember something from the "Experiencing God" stuff that I am teaching at the church. There is a difference between just knowing and experiencing God. Am I really experiencing a living God actively in my life right now? Am I cultivating a growing and lasting relationship with Him?Maybe these words on my forehead are there for a reason.
Maybe God is trying to tell me something? I am going to promise myself that I will read these words each time I look in the mirror. (Then hopefully they will come off.)
As time goes by I pause to read the words -- first frequently and then not so much -- I feel like I have read them enough that I don't have to take the time to stop and look at them anymore.
Then one day a headache knocks me out, I'm bedridden and incapable of doing anything. Sound is too loud, light is too bright. I snuggle myself down under my covers, hiding myself from the world around me. My husband comes to check on me, as he lovingly wisps the hair off my face to look in my eyes he asks me what is on my forehead. What I thought only I could see it. He says he sees something so faint.
I have enough to deal with! Now other people are going to see it. What does it say again? Be...still. Well, at this point I have no choice my head is killing me. Be still and know that I am God. Hey, that is in the Bible somewhere, maybe that will help me figure this out. I ask my husband to bring me my Bible. It takes him a few minutes to find it, frankly I can't remember where I put it the last time I read it. When was the last time I read it?
There it is Psalm 46:10. It feels good to open my Bible, to search through it. I think I will read through the chapter to learn more about this verse. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. --I need to hear that. I feel so at peace as I spend time in the word. I close my Bible, hug it to my chest and thank God for who He is and is words to me. Now I understand, Be still and know that I am God.
This is a parody about what I have gone through over the last few years. This verse has laid heavily on me and I continually pushed it away and ignored it. I bought a mug and wall art with the verse on it. But I never tool the time to understand it and why it laid heavily on me until my health deteriorated so far that I lost my job and I could barely function in my home.
Finally I had no choice but to be still and trust that He is God. That is a hard thing for us as women to acknowledge and respond to. But it has been very rewarding. I made myself so busy doing things for God that I forgot to include Him in His plan. Now I am choosing to do things differently and by giving Him the lead things that I would have never dreamed, hoped or dared to ask for are beginning to happen.
May you learn from my experience to slow down and let God be the God of your life.